I have been there, sitting with my head down in a room full of people, afraid to speak up and present all my great ideas, afraid to ask for what I really want or say what I think missing on the opportunities that could help me to live the life I always wanted.
The reason that so many people never fulfil their potential is not a lack of intelligence, opportunity, or resources, but a lack of belief in themselves; in another way: too little self-confidence.
“Most people live in a restricted circle of potential.” -William James
IS IT NARCISSISM?
We are often miss led by the thought that if we have too high confidence we may become narcissistic. But there is a big difference between confidence and narcissism. Confidence instils a personal sense of being capable and competent, while narcissism encompasses a sense of superiority over others. Narcissism can be the result of insecurities and used as a defence mechanism, while confidence comes from self-awareness and belief in oneself.
With the thought that I DO NOT want to become narcissistic and instead remain a humble, kind, and carrying person I have never thought to do anything that would make me confident. The idea of being "that" girl walking with her nose in a sky and seeking to be a centre of attention at all times was NO GO.
But under-confidence can lead people to shy away from new opportunities—such as a career shift or new romantic relationship—due to the fear of failure or embarrassment. And so I did, living in fear for years dreaming about a life I wish to have, always choosing the easy path to eliminate a chance of failure until my early 20s when my life started shifting.
YOU ARE NOT BORN WITH IT
Often people think of confidence as something that the lucky few are born with and the rest are left wishing for. Not true. Confidence is not a fixed attribute; it’s the outcome of the thoughts we think and the actions we take. It is not based on your actual ability to succeed at a task but on your belief in your ability to succeed.
Confidence is boosted when we experience a win, success, or reach our goals, but it takes a hit when our efforts don't work out, we're criticized, rejected, or simply feel a lack of external recognition.
WHAT HAS CHANGED?
The rise of social media (I was sceptical at first of course) was very important for me as a fitness coach and photographer to reach new clients and show my face to the world...but I was so SHY! Standing in front and behind the camera are two completely different stories.
However, the biggest change happened once I have booked a